I deleted everything. That includes those in my handphone.
All that is left are those in my laptop. I'm still thinking if I should or not.
High possibility which I will do so.
I will be determined this time round.
For you, I surrender. Officially.


A couple of points to take note now,

• On a happier note, my mom is treating me as if nothing happened at all! Which makes me feel extremely guilty! :(
• My dad handed me $150 to get myself a new pair of sports shoe as he struck lottery.
• My mom is bringing me facial later on & maybe I'll get myself coloured contact lenses too.
• & I'll be catching New Moon with my cousin afterwards at AMK Hub later!! I hope it will be good! If it's thumbs up, I'll watch it again!
• I realise I have to stop online shopping & go for REAL shopping instead.
• Zoukout is coming & Charms has already bought the tickets.
• School holidays is coming real quick.
• I know I have to resign from Bistro but I ain't sure when to do it because I just can't bear to T.T
• I must get a haircut & re-dye of hair colour soon. It's becoming 'grass' -.-
• I will enjoy myself to the fullest when holidays are here. & that means, Club!! :D
• I will also try to have a night-out decently with girlfriends & Puneh & whoever :)
• I had a fever yesterday before I went for work but I still went in the end because I know I won't be able to work there much longer. So I endured with it. & now, I feel better than yesterday! Just that head is hurting a little.
  
• Right now, I want a Cappuccino by my side now. So I'm going for my plans now! :)
  

I will wake up from this. Stop all this.
There isn't much left anyway.
I'll be able to do this in a short while.
Letting go of something that has somewhat become a part of you, isn't going to be easy.
But I believe I can do it.
Life still goes on.

It seems to be a bad day for me.
Had a rather major scolding from Mom this morning when I woke up due to poor attendance in school. Which is just a mere 3 days. (It's a huge issue for her)
& heard something during work too. Rather hurtful to hear that he felt that way. (It triggered my emo-ness)
I disappointed my Mom real bad. I need to apologise sincerely to her.
I think I disappointed everyone. I don't know why.
I don't seem to be myself & the way I handle things. I don't know what was I doing. It is just not me.

Now I believe that bad things, comes together.

Give me a month & I'll be a whole new me again.

OH YAH.
I'LL BE REVIVING MY LIVEJOURNAL TO SELL AWAY SOME OF MY CLOTHES.
MAJORITY WILL BE BRAND NEW. IF NOT I WILL STATE :)
PRICES CAN BE NEGOTIABLE :)

Click on Livejournal at the left-hand side under Favourites!!

I think I want to get coloured contact lenses! HEHE.
I'm having grey ones on now! HEEEE.
Ok, this is super random.
I'm gone :)

It's 3.05am now & I'm blogging.

My mom walked in Bistro just when I was about to end work. & what she had in hand? A movie ticket, 2012. At Lido couple of hours ago. Along with my dad, auntie & cousin.
Somehow, I felt warmth & definitely shocked.
It made my day & me, feel happier too.

It was rather emotional during work because I'll be quitting Bistro soon. Either Dec or start of next year.
I really don't wish to think about it but, I have no choice.
The management will not hold part-timers on standby & I totally understand why is that so.
But still, my heart feels really terrible when I have to quit. Really quit. Not there anymore.
Over there, I made a few good friends & they are really good pals.
Ok, I'm feeling the heartache now.

3:12am now. I'll be waking up at 9am afterwards as my family will be heading over to Suntec to get my N97 & to upgrade our broadband.
Yes, I'm not getting the Raoul Limited Edition anymore because it is really not worth it. Think about it. $1K for the phone w/o any plans of course & compared to the normal N97 with plans attached & at $400++.

So, I've been thinking alot. Probably too much & I've somewhat figured how I'm able to express what I really want. I hope it will work. I hope he will understand what I feel. I hope he'll be honest.

This, I got it from my FB. It is really motivating. Exactly on how I need & my understanding towards the word, Love.
"Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end."
Really, I have to say that I totally agree to this.

Another quote I found when I was reading Seventeen.
"You don't need to give reasons for the things you do -- you just have to do what you want. & sometimes, the thing that seems messed up to everyone else is what's right for you. You have to do it & not be ashamed of it." --Kristen Stewart

On a side note, I'm going to write something which is contradicting.
I am feeling very tempted for clubbing again.

Ok, 3:22am now.
I should crash my bed now.
I'm outta here.

Do you really think things are to end this way?
Are you certain there isn't the tiniest feel left?
Somehow, I missed you so much after work ended today.
But, I'll endure it.

Quite a number of plans lining up.
Chilli crab with classmates, Steamboat, Sheesha, Liquid Kitchen, Chalet again?
There's more to come, definitely.

I think I need a heart-to-heart night out talk with friends. (I miss HX & Co.)
I think I want to re-dye my hair again.
I'm going facial this coming Sunday. I need to trim my eyebrows.
I'm wondering when can I get my N97... (Not the Raoul version I guess. Too Exxxxx.)
I should quicken my pace in registering for my BTT at YCK before it shifts to Woodlands (zzzzzz)
I need to stock my fridge up with green apples when the day lights up.
My cough hasn't fully recovered.
My clothes has been over-piling...

Did I really change? Sometimes I really wonder.
I do accept positive + negative comments. But I hates it when I try but people still think I'm not trying. If you do not know me well enough like the way I do things, then kindly stfu.
Reflect if you're any better than me. I believe everyone has their own way of doing things.
If you ain't a good friend of mine at all, I don't give a fuck to what you say. You are not in any position to even let me hear your comments. This will make me despise you instead.
*Do note that I am not pin-pointing anyone here. It's just an accumulation of everything I've been through.

Time is passing so fast that I can still remember the beginning of 2009.
Soon, we'll welcome 2010. What lies ahead, we do not know.

Right now, I worn out & I didn't enjoy work.
I'm working 5pm-10pm later. Imma go get some sleep now.

I'll give you time. Not like I never gave you enough time before.
When holiday begins, don't say I never did.
You know I did. More than what you need. Probably I gave you too much.
Nothing you say will demoralise me.
I'm bent on having this talk with you.

IIP

I just submitted my 3 preferred company I'd like to work with during my 6months attachment next semester.

1st: Singapore Airlines
2nd: Silk Air
3rd: Underwater world Singapore

Realised there isn't any choice of Hotels?
Yes, you're not seeing wrong.
I don't plan to work in the Hotel industry.
I hope I'll get into my 1st or 2nd choice. OR either of my 3 preferred choice.
Don't throw me into a Hotel, pleaseeeeeeeee.
GOD. HELP ME.

On a side note, classmates' birthday this week & next week. Hella fun I hope!

I'm scared. Fucking scared.
Help.

Been some time since I uploaded photos here.

Charm's 19th birthday yesterday. Powerhouse!
I won't say I dislike Powerhouse, but somehow I still prefer Rebel & Phuture!!
Probably because you had NO space to dance on the dancefloor. The whole dancefloor was like, people trying to squeeze their way through to the other side of the dancefloor. Not a dancefloor anymore. The only available place is on the podium. Kinda shiok to be on the podium though. At least you get to breathe & not suffocate. & with no guys attempting to grind you from behind. That's the thing which disgusts me ttm when clubbing.
Overall, PH was fucking packed, so it wasn't good because of it. & I waved the white flag at 4+am!
But I won't mind going there again because the music is rather rockingzxzxz at some point. It was more of, on & off. Abit sian though.
Anyway, photos!






















I will pause nightlife for awhile. I'm getting slightly sian of it & it is just the starting!
Alright, I'm going to go be best friends with Financial Accounting now.
& I will not forget what I need to do. The final last.
I just need awhile of your time. Is that too much to ask for?

I've done things in which I am not known to do. But this time, I broke my record. I simply cannot be bothered.
I will not be affected by what others say. Be it me, being naive, stupid, the dumbest girl on earth.
I don't care. Because I know, I have not gave all of my strength & effort in this.
Somehow, I feel better than before. For me not being daring enough to admit to what I feel.
Now, I feel it's stupid to not own up & admit what one truly feels. It will be the biggest regret ever.
I need all the support I can from my friends!!

Soon, I'll be done. & I'll be there.
To chase what I want.

I'll get sleep now as my medicine is taking effect on me.
POWERHOUSE LATER. HEHEHEHE.

HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY CHARMAINE CHAN. I'M SO GOING TO MISS YOU NEXT YEAR EVEN THOUGH I ONLY KNOW YOU LESS THAN A YEAR. BUT REALLY, YOU ARE 1 CRAZY BITCH. HAHAHAHA. LOVE YOU MUCH! SEE YOU LATER! <3

For the 1st time, I'm doing something so crazy that I've never done this to anyone before.
& it will be the last time.
Because it's you, I'll do it.
It's time for me to think for myself. I won't let you call it all shots now. I'm fighting for what I want.
This time round, it's my turn.
Wait for me. I'm coming.

Tonight's weather is chilly & relaxing. I like it.
I did my usual exercise, running 5 rounds around the circumference of the stadium.
When I was done, I took a rest by walking around.
& unknowingly, I wasn't able to stop my legs. It just walked to where my mind & heart wanted me to be.
It took me to the spot where we sat & talked, which took place more than a year ago.
I sat at the exact location, with my iPod Touch playing on shuffle.
It played all the songs that reminded me of you.
Everything flashed back to me. I couldn't help it. My legs just won't move away. My entire body just doesn't want to move.
& my eyes became watery but there wasn't any tears flowing at all. Probably there isn't any more tears I could let it out.
There I was, sitting there like an idiot. But luckily it was dark, so I reckon those passer-bys didn't see my facial expression.
Then I wondered, what is in you that can make me not forget you so badly? I really wondered why.
I've lost all faith & hope to think that it will happen again.
I know after that matter, you will not dare to talk to me like how we used to. Or even if things may have a chance to reconcile, I think you won't dare to tell me.
Confidence is what you're lacking, isn't it?
Well, I can't force you to do what you don't agree upon. This is in you, your character.

After 45minutes to an hour of being in deep thoughts, my body finally responded & I went home.
All I needed was, to be alone.
& I feel better.

SUPPER CLUB WAS GOOD.
But we were nua-ing before 2am because of the music & we almost wanted to jump club. HENG WE DIDN'T.
I DIDN'T MANAGE TO DANCE TO POKER FACE BECAUSE THE 2 BABES WAVED THE WHITE FLAG. ONLY LEFT ME, STILL HIGH. HAHAHAA.
OH WELL, I HOPE I WILL BE ABLE TO GO POWERHOUSE THIS SATURDAY :)))))
I MISS REBEL TOO. HEEEEE

I REALISE I HAVEN'T BEEN BLOGGING ALMOST TO A WEEK.
HEHEHEEHE. APOLOGIES AH. RATHER BUSY LATELY!
I'LL TRY TO UPDATE TOMORROW :)
ON A SIDE NOTE, I'M EXCITED FOR THIS COMING SATURDAY!!